So, the King of Pop has snuffed it. Kicked the bucket. Met his maker. Bought the farm. Rode off into the sunset. Leaving behind him behind him a stellar musical legacy, legions of mourning fans and dozens of “touched” pre-pubescent boys (what, too soon?), he has gone to join the great gig in the sky. We here at PnP salute Michael Jackson for his incomparable contributions to the world of music and entertainment, for being the poster boy for nearly evey kind of crazy during the last fifteen odd years, and also because at least every other time I have been introduced to someone, the question has been posed: “Oh, Jackson? You mean like Michael Jackson? Hee hee.” A world full of darned eight year olds, I tell you.

Anyway, being an unwitting namesake didn’t really drive me wild about the man, but I decided to give into him as long as he was just a smooth criminal. But once he started being bad (really, really bad), I decided it would be better for me to beat it than to associate my name with his. It was hard to keep the faith when we didn’t know why he’d wanna trip on ten year old boys, but another part of me could remember the time, a simpler time, when you could just put on a record from this speed demon and jam to his earth song. Even if there was no one to dance with, the man in the mirror could make you feel like getting on the floor. It was just human nature. We believed he could heal the world, and didn’t care if he was black or white. Unfortunately, there was too much blood on the dance floor. We screamed at his personal HIStory and said he didn’t really care about us anymore, like some stranger in Moscow. But this time round, when he was getting ready to rock our world once more, asking us “will you be there?”, the break of dawn revealed the terrible news to us tabloid junkies that he was gone too soon. It was 2 bad. [Editors Note: Apologies to all Michael Jackson fans for mangling a great musical legacy in one atrocious paragraph. In fact, apologies to all of humanity for allowing this to happen. Billie Jean and Dirty Diana, the Liberian girls who wrote this paragraph have been sacked. We feel your outrage. You are not alone.*]

So, we Pitch and Pay says our fond farewell to the not-so-ugly-looking duckling who turned into a terrifying swan that turned out some of the most eminently listenable music of the last century, and reconcile ourselves to the fact that while he will no longer be around, he will always be remembered as the high-water mark of entertainment. And for being crazier than Charles Manson with a chainsaw.

URL (UnRelated Link): MJ also inspires an idiot with a knife in Florida. Do read the comments for much serious discussion and tasteless humour.

* We apologize once again for the continued punny behaviour. The people responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have also been sacked.